The “Why”

I have been thinking a lot about the “why” in our lives. Really thinking about the reasons behind our actions or thoughts. Why do I do the things I do? Heck, why do other people do the things they do? I got to thinking about all this because of a really great session I had at the Center for Change. We got on the topic of my perception of myself and my constant comparison to others. I have this really bad habit of wanting to be perfect at everything, and find myself always comparing myself to others, only to become discouraged when they are stronger or better than me at something. I know that this type of behavior will destroy you over time, and I have seen what it has done to me firsthand.

I don’t want to be this way anymore.

I want to look in the mirror and be 100% happy with me.

Therapy has me thinking (which I think means it is working, right?)

First, being.  I think as women we have these unspoken expectations to be perfect in every sense of the word, and find ourselves trying to out-do everyone else and live up to those expectations. We want to have the perfect career, to be the perfect wife, mother, fashionista, etc. etc!  We see these women that we think have the perfect lives and try to emulate our lives to be like theirs.

REALITY CHECK-

The people that we think are perfect are not, so why do we spend so much of our time and energy comparing ourselves to others?  Why do we always feel like our talents, gifts, and strengths are not good enough?  I know I am guilty of this on SO many levels, and I hate the way falling short in comparison to others makes me feel. It’s not realistic and we just set ourselves up to fail, which in turn makes us feel inferior to those that have what we feel like we should become. Who wants to feel like they are failing all the time???  Who likes feeling like what they have to offer is not good enough?  It’s a vicious cycle.  One I would like am determined to break. I am hoping my “ah-ha” moment the other day has convinced me to forget these so-called expectations, and help me get to the heart of “why” I am who I am, and the real reasons I should make choices. To really embrace my true authentic self.

I have a lot of forgiving to do, and one of the examples of the “why” we talked about was forgiveness and why we should forgive. I believe the “why” of forgiveness is our own happiness. In order for us to be truly happy we have to forgive what’s been done in the past and move forward.  There is a why to everything, and sometimes it just takes digging a little deeper to find the reason.  Like I said before, I have a lot of forgiving I need to do and I know that one day it will be one of the “why’s” on my journey to happiness.

Why do I compare myself to others? 

Why do I think that not eating makes the world a happier place? 

I’m not sure why I feel this way, but I’m on my journey to finding out. Each time I go to the center,  I’m reminded that each and everyone of us were sent here with gifts and talents, strengths and weaknesses, and regardless of those that I have and do not have,  I should still love myself.  I know that one day I will have peeled back all the layers surrounding my soul and truly see myself the way GOD see’s me. What a great day that will be to finally see myself without all the layers of expectations and guilt for the person I am not. He sent me here to be me and nobody else.

In the words of the great Dr. Seuss:

Join me as I get personal, and continue on my journey to loving myself enough to get healthy, and look at myself in the mirror and love what I see!  Its going to be a ride!  Come along and share your experiences.  Let’s get healthy together, because we deserve it!

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