I’m not a size two, and once in a while my girls have crazy hair when we head out the door! I have a pretty nice home, great husband, my two girls, Brielle and Aria, and my sweet son, Gavin, who is almost one! From the outside all looks ” NORMAL”, but it’s actually much better than normal. It’s large, unique, and sometimes complicated. I’m an adoptive mom of two of our 3 kiddos and we have a very open relationship with all our birth parents and their families! We have them stay with us or vice versa, their parents have us over there, we include them on holidays, special occasions and we talk, chat, text , facebook, etc. We even think its cool that our kids’ birth grandparents show off our kids on their facebook wall and say ” look at our grandkids!”
You see, I don’t view our adopted children as any different from my birth child! I’m not still grieving my infertility either so those feelings are not anywhere in my heart anymore. I found out that I’d struggle with conceiving when i was almost 16. I grieved then and healed through prayer and fasting and understanding God’s plan for me and my family. I didn’t come into adoption with rose colored glasses and a checklist of what I deemed worthy for me to have in a child. I’m not a fan of those who do either! Children, either bio or adopted, are a gift and a blessing and also a genetic lottery! Like my kids kindergarten teacher says” you get what you get and you don’t throw a fit!” God will only give you what HE knows you can handle!
Adoption, in many ways , is the strongest outward expression of true motherhood to me! A sweet woman, who in no unlikely terms would be unfit to raise a child, chooses instead to think about the child ahead of herself! Birth parents choose life and love and prosperity for the child they choose to place. Selfless love is the epitome of what any good mother is.
PUTTING YOUR CHILD ABOVE YOURSELF!
Now, I’m not saying become a fat slob and neglect everything except rearing your kids. I’m suggesting that you slow down and listen and learn with your child. It takes mere seconds to connect and seconds to destroy that connection. I’m all for building and not destroying, and that is part of the reason we have such great relationships with our birth parents and birth families! I know each situation is different for anyone who adopts, but I always want our kids to know that EVERYONE in their lives LOVES THEM!
Yesterday on the way home Brielle asks me, “Mom, did Kara name me something different when I came from her tummy?”
I sat for a second and said, “Yeah, she named you Emalee, that’s why it’s your middle name now because it’s very special and we wanted you to remember it!”
B: “Why didn’t you just keep that name since she gave it to me?”
Then I had this converstion about how we wanted to give her a name that was less common among kids her age and how we prayed to know the right name of all the names on this list and how her name stuck with us day after day. I told her about when we told Kara and her family and they were so happy because that was their favorite name from our list too! We wanted her to have a special fancy kind of name so she would always remember what kind of princess she is to us and to God!
Brielle grinned and then asked, ” Why didn’t Kara just take care of me?” I told her that she was unmarried and wanted her to have a daddy and a family and how she prayed to find us for her and how we prayed to find her too!
And she said ” What? she wasn’t married and she had a baby? That’s crazy!” ( if she only knew)
I’m forever grateful for many moms and birthmoms in my life!
My mother, Leslie, who gave me talents and abilities and took care of my every need. My mother-in-law, Betty, who raised a wonderful man for me to marry and have a family with. My husband’s birth mother Jane, though we don’t know you- I’m eternally in debt because if you would have chosen to parent him, he wouldn’t be mine now! My sweet stepmom, Mary, who is also a birthmother and kind & loving woman! Brielle’s birthmom , Kara, you are the reason we started our family and are our first miracle and friend! Jessica, Gavin’s birthmom, you are like my little sister, but cuter than me and we love having a SON! All our birth grandmas- Dawn, Tammy, Tami, Maxine, Paula- we love you all and are forever blessed by all the love you have shown your children and grandchildren!
There are not enough words to express how wonderful the love is amongst us all! I’m privileged to have such openness and warmth from all of our birth families and biological families too!
Happy Mother’s Month Everyone!
( yeah a day just doesn’t suffice- does it?;)
Corrine Christian– Corrine has been advocating for adoption since she was 13 yrs old. She is a mother of 2 girls and one boy (2 through adoption), married to Brandon( who is also adopted) and loves helping others realize how amazing adoption can be. She is actively involved in FSA as the Regional Chair for the Central Region and on the local chapters Outreach committee in the Colorado FSA chapter. When she is not advocating, she enjoys spending lots of time with her kids, crafting, photography, working out, running and just about anything physically challenging! For more info on Brandon and Corrine visit www.brandonandcorrine.