Three years ago almost to the day, I rang in the new year (2010 at the time) by myself in an exhausted state of grief and depression. We were waving goodbye to the year – the only year – that our daughter, our first child, existed.
The new year is not always joyous, festive, and celebrated over cocktails and fireworks.
Sometimes it hurts. Sometimes it feels like a punch in the throat because of what you feel you are leaving behind. And at the same time you are anxious to live out this new year, hoping it might bring better things, happiness and restoration.
This year, three years later, time has helped heal so much. But that dark place of grief, it changes you. It transforms you, and you never are the same. You are better for life’s heartaches. You survive them, and learn from them.
And you come out on the other end one day appreciating this gift of life like you never dreamed possible.
Just a few days ago (December 29, 2012) we welcomed our preemie daughter, our second daughter, into this world. We had hoped she might make it into January, but with my history of premature labor and a few other things we were lucky to get as far as we did into the pregnancy. After a week and a half in the NICU, we were able to bring her home.
This new year I reflected. I remembered. And while we are celebrating and more thankful than words even begin to express – I will never forget. My heart is with those who feel like they are leaving something behind. My hope is that you might have the courage to embrace this wonderful new year, and welcome peace, hope and even some healing.
Welcoming this new beginning into your life doesn’t mean leaving anything behind, it means you are ready to give something back to yourself.
Beautiful, unmistakeable, intentional living.