I have been sick to my stomach ever since I read this story on the news. I have read the comments and I can feel the hate in people’s hearts towards this mom. My stomach churns knowing she is reading what people are writing about her and what it must be doing to her. Words destroy people and you cannot convince me other wise.
I think the thing that makes me the sickest is all the mom’s out there belittling and ripping her apart as a mom- turning their noses up LIKE THEY WILL NEVER MAKE A MISTAKE. (that is me yelling that sentence.) I don’t get angry very often and it takes a lot for me to stand up and say “Hey..I am NOT okay with this, but I read this story and I knew I had to say something and here is why:
Almost 4 years ago I welcomed a little boy into this world. When he was just 6 weeks old we blessed him at church. All of our family was there with us, joining us in celebrating our newest addition. After the service was over we headed home to eat with our loved ones. On the way home I was putting together my list of all the things that needed doing to get the food ready. We got home I got out of the car and went inside to start on my list. An hour later I had to go back to church to make an announcement and I found my little guy in his carseat, in the back right where I had lovingly strapped him in. His eyes puffy from crying and whimpering the saddest cry I have ever heard. I burst into tears unbuckled him and held him with all that I had in that moment. I have NEVER felt like a worse mom than I did in that moment. Even now 4 years later my eyes fill with tears just thinking about it.
How in the world did I EVER let that happen? How had no one noticed that he wasn’t around? My family was there. My husbands family was there. We had friends there and NO ONE realized that Beckham wasn’t there. I assumed my husband grabbed him. He assumed I grabbed him. Everyone else assumed someone grabbed him and yet no one grabbed him. I am sure just like me, they all had their list of things in there head that needed doing. Luckily for us it was in November so the weather was not hot and he was perfectly fine.
THIS COULD HAVE BEEN MY STORY.
And if we are ALL being honest here: It could be YOUR story too.
Your story might not be because you left your baby in the car but maybe your toddler who loves to explore snuck outside while you were helping child #3 put on a band-aid and got hit by a car. Maybe you didn’t leave your baby in the car but maybe you had a pool party with friends and you got talking, not 100% watching your 7 year old who knows how to swim and he almost drowns. Or maybe you set some medication on the counter when you walked in the door from the Pharmacy because you had to pee so bad and your toddler climbed up on the counter and got into them, swallowing one. Maybe you were cooking dinner, you had a pan on the stove warming up while you were cutting vegetables and your little one reaches up and touches the pan and get’s burned. Or maybe you hopped on Facebook with the intention of 5 minutes tops and it ended up being an hour and your not sure where your 3 year old is and you find him playing out by the road. Just because your story didn’t result in death, does not make you a better parent- it just makes you a LUCKY one. These things happen everyday, and sadly they happen to good mom’s, who love their little people fiercely. The world is loud and busy and it causes us to be distracted from the things that really matter and in those times of distraction unintentional mistakes are made. If you think you are exempt from being distracted or making a mistake you are dead wrong. It takes seconds for lives to change and consequences to go into effect and no one is exempt from tragedies that can follow.
GOOD MOMS ARE NOT PERFECT. GOOD MOMS ARE DOING THE BEST THEY CAN.
All this mommy HATE has got to stop. Hate and judgment are NOT the answer.
I beg of you before you say unkind things to other mothers to ask yourself :
Who am I to judge?
Am I a perfect mother?
Could this happen to me?
Let’s put down the weapons, because let’s get real, NONE of us are worthy to carry the judgement sword around- that job is for the All Mighty and a job I will gladly let him have. In these moments of great tragedy I will choose LOVE and I will choose EMPATHY because nothing has made me more aware of my mortality than having a child of my own to raise and care for.
Stop the hate because NO ONE ever wins.
All my LOVE to you April and family- You are NOT alone.