Let Go and Let God

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I have actually struggled knowing where to start this post in order to say what I feel in my heart needs to be said.  I have started and stopped and revised and erased it several times.  But I feel so strongly about it that I just have to get it out!  So please bear with [...]

Speak Up

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    I want you to think about the last time you went to the doctor. How did your appointment go? Were you able to really converse with your caregiver and get your questions answered? Or did you leave feeling rushed and unheard?   Hopefully when you had your last experience with a caregiver it [...]

Adoption Part 6

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If you guessed that I slept Monday night in a silent slumber because of the previous days events, you would be wrong.  I tossed and turned all night, my head swimming with possibilities*some good* some bad*. Even if my body relaxed and fell into some sort of sleep, my mind didn’t and this makes for [...]

Adoption Part 5

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Monday I woke up frustrated.  I just wanted to know if Handsome would be coming to begin a life with us or not.  I had started to get attached and I didn’t want to do that unless it was a sure thing.  My hat goes off to people that play this game all the time.  [...]

Standing Out

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One of the biggest lessons that I learned in recovery from my eating disorder is that you don’t have to “fit the mold” Who knew that not fitting the mold could be so empowering?? Another huge lesson I learned was that you cannot be opposites. Example you say-  you cannot be flexible and organized. It’s [...]

Not ever knowing, but still inspiring.

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How do you prepare yourself for a day like today? Tomorrow June 6th, will be my son’s first Birthday, only he will be celebrating in Heaven. This day last year was the last day of the so-called “normal” life that I would ever live. My last 24 hours of invincibility. Everything seemed so right in [...]

Time is a Gift

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I will NEVER forget the night that changed the way I look at my children, motherhood and more importantly life in general. I will never forget those few short minutes that felt like an eternity.   “Please just take a breath.”   “Come on little guy, please just take a breath.”   “Oh please God do [...]

Motherly Attributes of the Heart

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Motherhood.   It did not come easily to me. We battled infertility (infertility won) and then adoption won our hearts over. And over. And over.   Motherhood is not a sole pursuit in my world. It’s a title that I share with the three women who were mothers to my sons first.   My motherhood [...]

Adoption Part 4

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Sunday     I woke up anxious to get to the end of the day when we would meet Handsome.  Once again, I was very thankful to be watching General Conference and feeling the spirit of the day.  I look forward to General Conference every six months so I can veg in my PJ’s, watch church [...]

Adoption Part 3

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SATURDAY was a waiting game. Luckily it was General Conference and it helped distract me.  My emotional self was so raw after fasting the day before and the adoption was forefront in my brain. I vacillated back and forth between letting myself get excited and keeping up walls of protection.   I have had a [...]

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